The Great Greyness ..... and Pain

Last night was not good. Despite bragging how well I was doing, and feeling positive and not in too much pain, went to bed and was shortly rolling around in agony. Back feels red raw sore and my guts are wriggling in anger over a very inflamed pelvis. Hot water bottles and heat pads didn't help, so finally I succumbed to ringing the ward I stayed on to find out what I should do. I had no painkilling options left since I had taken all the tablets for the day, and more besides. The nurse who answered the phone was kind, but could only suggest A&E and felt I should go. I grimaced at the thought of my local A&E in the early hours of Saturday morning.

I arrived at a fairly and predictably packed A&E at around 3am. I staggered in with dramatic effect and after a short wait was triaged alongside the lushes after their night's out, the sore throats and bad knees that had been bad for 2 years anyway.

One girl had grazed her face and had had a nose bleed - the effects of the young British woman after a Friday night out. One man had been in A&E since 1am with a sore throat. A 40 something man had taken his bad knee (of two years duration) to A&E and then there was the odd dodgy ankle and several poorly babies.

I was mightily annoyed that the 'Minor' casualties got seen ahead of me, as I was triaged as a 'Major'. By just after 6.30am I was enjoying a swig of Oramorph, but not before I had endured a rectal examination, and yet more blood tests on my black and blue arms.

After a review of my pain-controlling medication, I left at just after 8am, into the still, cool, grey morning that had appeared, still in a morphine-induced haze, and blood tests declared normal.

To be fair the doctor was extremely nice, and I have been told to come back again, but it is obvious that I was not given adequate TTO drugs when I was discharged on Thursday.

Sadly my pelvis is so inflamed after so many years of pain in the area, and the nerves so highly sensitized that it is hard to tell anymore what exactly is 'normal' pain.

Frankly, crying in the early hours of the morning were too much of a stark reminder of this wretched condition. A memory that is still far too fresh, even though I haven't had this pain for over a year. Scary that.